|Occupation||Influential Care Person|
|Aliases||Paul David Hewson, Number Two|
|Voiced by||Kyle McCulloch|
|First Appearance||More Crap|
Talking fecal matter is a regular occurrence in the town of South Park, especially at the holidays, but only with the breast milk of a man can it become sentient. Paul David Hewson, better known as Bono, is a prodigy who can't STAND being called "number two" - so he travels the world with his band U2, breaking records and doing good, even though he'll always be a piece of crap. He has a special hatred for Randy Marsh - though Stan Marsh thinks he should settle for having a hot wife. According to the European Fecal Standards and Measurements Board, he took and/or is the largest crap ever taken on record, though Bono himself disputes the claim - and joins Tom Cruise in suing the town over it.