At school, Cartman passes out invitations to his birthday party -- a celebration of legendary proportions. He's interrupted when Mr. Garrison introduces a new student -- a sullen-looking kid named Damien. He's very up-front about the fact that he's the son of Satan. During lunch he turns Kenny into a duckbilled platypus, then causes a windstorm in the lunchroom.
"Bring me Jesus!" he shouts. "My wrath shall continue until I speak with Jesus!"
The boys fetch the Savior. Damien tells him his father, Satan, wants to battle him for control of the world -- right in South Park.
The locals, oblivious to the broader metaphysical implications of such a conflict, haul ass to the local bookie to bet on Jesus. The fight is scheduled for Saturday at the South Park Forum.
But Saturday is also Cartman's birthday. The kids are torn about which even to attend. At the pre-fight weigh-in, they're also appalled to see that Satan clocks in at seven-foot-two, 320 pounds, while Jesus weighs only 135 pounds. This causes the townspeople to change their bets en masse from Jesus to Satan.
The big day for the fight -- and Cartman's birthday -- arrives. Most of the town's kids elect to go to the party -- including Damien, even though he wasn't invited. He wins over the other children by first torturing and then (apparently) murdering Pip in a highly inventive way.
The scheduling conflict with the Jesus/Satan bout is resolved when Kyle, instead of bringing Cartman a robot action figure as he was told to, gives him an "Ants in the Pants" game. Furious, Cartman throws everyone out and ends the party.
The kids head for the South Park Forum, where Jesus is taking a tremendous beating. Between rounds Stan gives him a furious pep talk. When the bell rings, Jesus strikes his first blow -- an inconsequential tap on the arm. To everyone's surprise, Satan crashes to the mat and is counted out. As he explains before returning to Hell, he was the only person who bet on Jesus -- and now he'll take the towns' hard-earned savings with him to the infernal regions.
What I Learned Today
"Parents can be so cruel. Don't they realize that what a child needs more than anything is security?"
- "Holy crap dude, Satan's huge!" Stan
- "I can't hit Jesus Christ. My mother would never speak to me again." Chef
- "God dammit Jesus, snap out of it!" Stan
- "Who cut your hair? Stevie Wonder?!" Cartman
- "That is one fudged-up little cracker!" Chef
- "Holy poop on a stick!" Garrison
- "I bet I can spit the most on him." Clyde Donovan
- "Wow, that kid has some real emotional problems" Damien re: Cartman
When the boys are being mean to the new kid Damien, Chef sings "We're All Special In Our Own Way" It starts off about accepting new people for who they are, and slowly turns into a smooth song about love making.
Behind The Scenes
Pop Culture References
The boys tell Damien that his mom is a "real dog" -- a reference to The Omen, in which the Antichrist's mother was a jackal. Also, when Stan tries to buck up Jesus during the fight, he tells him, "Don't try to be a great man; just be a man." The line was lifted word-for-word from the 1996 film Star Trek: First Contact.
For his birthday, Cartman wants the set of green, yellow, and red Megaman. This toy is based off the legendary videogame from the late 80s.
The Jesus vs. Satan "Boutin' at the Mountain" Pay-Per-View is an obvious take-off on HBO's premium pay-to-watch boxing events.
Furthermore, the announcer screams "Let's get ready to rumble!!!" This phrase is trademarked by professional announcer Michael Buffer, who actually voiced it for this episode.
Olympic skater Nancy Kerrigan. When Stan holds Kerrigan up to Jesus as someone who wouldn't let adversity keep her from becoming No. 1, Kyle reminds him that she only took home a silver medal. "Never mind, Jesus," Stan says. "Nancy Kerrigan sucks."
Also boxing promoter Don King, who represents Satan during a pre-fight press conference. He admonishes reporters who ask if the Prince of Darkness had a hand in the Gulf War to "just let everything be decided in the ring."
As Garrison continues his lecture on "great singers of the baroque era", he goes on to say that "Nancy Sinatra was quite a choice piece of ass."
The evil, demonic chorus that plays when Damien summons up his evil powers can also be similarly heard twelve seasons later in Britney's New Look.
We get our first glimpse of South Park's bar, called "Bar".