A longtime comedian and television host for over thirty years, David Letterman's subversive, cynical style has gone from an exception to an industry standard. Working with his band leader Paul Shaffer, he helps popularize the 'fishsticks' joke on his show. He also has sex with employees, something that lands him in hot water at the Karne Institute for Sex Addiction, where he admits he refused to pay a bribe. He later joins Tom Cruise and two-hundred other angry celebrities in suing the town for slander, and returns again when Funnybot steals every comedian's job. His arch-nemesis is fellow comedian and TV host Jay Leno.
- "If they ask you for money, you should pay them." (Sexual Healing)