Fun with Veal
During a field trip to a cattle ranch, Stan is horrified to learn that veal is made from baby cows. In an effort to stop this cruelty, the boys kidnap all the calves and lock themselves in Stan's bedroom with them. Soon they're accused of being terrorists and the house is surrounded by police.
To solidify his stance against killing baby animals, Stan becomes a vegetarian. Immediately, he gets sores all over his body. Cartman negotiates with the cops and manages to get, among many other things, a cattle truck driven by Star Trek: The Next Generation's Michael Dorn to take them to Denver International Airport, where a plane will fly them to Mexico.
They don't make it very far. The police apprehend them in front of the veal ranch. Stan, deathly ill, is rushed to the hospital where he's diagnosed with "vaginitis." When he stopped eating meat, his body broke out in small vaginas. The doctor states that if he refrained from eating meat much longer, he would have turned into "one great big giant pussy."
An IV of pure beef blood restores him. The calves are returned to the ranch, where they are allowed to grow up and live with the other cattle. It seems that Cartman, during his negotiations, got the FDA to change the world "veal" on restaurant menus to "little tortured baby cows," which put a pretty big damper on the veal market.
What I Learned Today
"It's wrong to eat veal because the animals are so horribly mistreated. But if you don't eat meat at all, you break out in vaginas."
- "We could kill Butters, and then float the calves on a river of blood." Cartman
- "Ooo, Stan's in trouble. Let me kick his ass, mom." Shelly Marsh
- "This is going to be like Vietnam, huh fellas? Whoopie!" Butters
- "Butters, I'm going to kill you over and over again." Cartman
- "What did I tell you Stan? We save some baby cows from being eaten and now we're no-good dirty God-damn hippies!" Cartman
- "Oh Mike, you're breakin' my balls here, Mike." Cartman
- "Stan, you're behaving like a kid!" Randy Marsh
- "One for all and all for one, except Cartman!" Stan
- "If you don't eat meat at all, you become a pussy." Cartman
- "If we don't do something soon there could be fifty, even sixty, people who have to go without veal for dinner. Are you prepared to let that happen?" FBI Leader
Rancher Bob, the farmer who owns the cattle farm. Also, the group of bearded, dirty Hippies make their debut. These hippies can be seen again in "Douche and Turd" as well as "Die Hippie, Die" .
A snippet of the hippie, grassroots song "Help the Helpless" plays while the hippies are protesting outside of Stan's house.
Behind The Scenes
Where Did The Idea Come From
Trey and Matt are both confirmed carnivores, but veal is pretty much where they draw the line. "I don't eat babies," says Trey.
Pop Culture References
The kids break into the veal pen with the help of Cartman's "Mission Impossible Breaking and Entering Playset." Also, Butters attempts to make the calves stronger by using the "Suzanne Somers' Calf Exerciser." Stan's dad says during a news interview, "We gave those kids everything and they've turned into little John Walkers." This is referencing John Walker Lindh, an American citizen who betrayed his country by becoming a Taliban leader. He was captured in the 2001 invasion of Afghanistan.
Michael Dorn, a.k.a. Worf from Star Trek: The Next Generation, is recruited to drive the boys' getaway truck. He even wears a "Pasadena City College" shirt (where Dorn went to college) over his Klingon makeup. Cartman insists that Worf call him "Captain" for the rest of the episode.
Live TV coverage of the cow hostage crisis proves so uninteresting that the network switches away to a show called Puppies From Around the World. The show will be seen again during "The Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer" .
The Two Hippie Dudes from "Ike's Wee Wee" and "Roger Ebert Should Lay Off The Fatty Foods" can be seen protesting with the group of hippies outside of Stan's house.
Cartman uses his "You're breakin' my balls" technique to negotiate with the police in this episode. He mastered that negotiation technique while selling baby fetuses in "Kenny Dies."
- e1 Freak Strike
- e2 Jared Has Aides
- e3 Asspen
- e4 The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer
- e5 Fun with Veal
- e6 Professor Chaos (episode)
- e7 The Simpsons Already Did It
- e8 Red Hot Catholic Love
- e9 Free Hat
- e10 Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society
- e11 Child Abduction is Not Funny
- e12 A Ladder to Heaven
- e13 The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers
- e14 The Death Camp of Tolerance
- e15 The Biggest Douche in the Universe
- e16 My Future Self 'n' Me
- e17 Red Sleigh Down