A new student from Utah who is Mormon. He's a state champion in wrestling and tennis, an honor student, and has been on two national commercials for toothpaste. And he's also ridiculously nice. Despite all this, the Boys show him no love, and vow to kick his ass.
- All About Mormons (s07e12)
"Stan, I remember you said last night that you'd lost your wallet, so I made you a new one. I carved a picture of John Elway into the leather on the front."
"All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you're so high and mighty you couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls."