Jared Has Aides
Subway restaurants spokesperon (and local celebrity) Jared Vogle stops by South Park to give a speech about weight loss. Soon after, the boys learn that his rapid slimming down was accomploshed not just by eating Subway sandwiches, but also because he has "Aides" -- specifically, a dietitian and personal trainer.
The boys see potential in this "spokesperson" gig, and embark on making Butters the new spokesperson for City Wok. Butters binges on the Chinese food until he's nice and plump -- however, when it comes time for him to drop the weight, Fat Butters can't seem to loose it. So Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny "help" by performing amateur liposuction surgery on him. Meanwhile, Jared decides to tell the world that "aides" are responsible for his weight loss. Except when he says "aides," everyone thinks he means AIDS. He goes on to tell the townspeople that they should all get aides, and announces that he's starting an "Aides for Everyone" foundation.
In short order, he's captured by an angry mob and brought to the town square to be lynched. This ruins the boys' City Wok deal, because now everyone hates Jared. Just before Jared's execution, Butters, Stan, and Kyle finally explain to the mob that it's all a big misunderstanding. The owner of City Wok renews his offer to use Butters as his spokesperson, but the boys refuse when they learn he can pay only "fifteen dowlar."
What I Learned Today
"It would have been wrong to exploit Butters' weight loss. Because then lots of fat people would have believed it and then gone and eaten a ton of Chinese food instead of dieting properly. They'd still be fat and we'd be responsible for their shattered dreams."
- "It's only in America that somebody can become famous just because they go from being a big fat ass to not being a big fat ass." Stan
- "I can't lose weight, Butters, 'cause I'm not fat. I'm big-boned. You can't slim down bones, stupid!" Cartman
- "Dammit Butters! Keep eating or I'll kick you 'til you're deader than Kenny!" Cartman
- "How many times have we told you not to have self-performed liposuction surgery in our house?" Linda Stotch
- "You guys I think I'm having a genius moment." Cartman
- "You wouldn't be a penis butt, Butters. You'd be FAMOUS." Stan
- "If you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him." Chef
- "You guys have already gotten me in Dutch for getting fat, then I got in double Dutch for having liposuction, and you're asking me to be in TRIPLE Dutch?! Huh-uh, I'll never be that Dutch." Butters
The owner of City Wok, Tuong Lu Kim, who thanks to his poor mastery of English refers to his establishment as "Shitty Wok." Years earlier, while Matt and Trey were putting together the movie Orgazmo, they amused themselves by calling a real City Wok, which the guy who answered the phone referred to as "Shitty Wok."
None, although Jared comes precariously close to being lynched by an angry mob in the South Park Gallows.
Jared gets his own little "Still Lookin' Good" theme song which plays throughout the episode. The townspeople also make their own, personalized variations of this song.
Behind The Scenes
Where Did The Idea Come From
At the time, you couldn't watch TV for more than half an hour without catching one of Subway's "Jared" spots. Trey and Matt actually thought the idea was brilliant -- lose weight eating a chain restaurant's food, then sell yourself to them as a spokesperson.
Pop Culture References
The scene in which Jared walks dejectedly down the street after being fired from his Subway gig is a parody of a similar scene in the movie Philadelphia -- right down to the Bruce Springsteen-esque "Streets of Philadelphia" song playing in the background.
Cartman references the Three's Company star when he yells at Butters, "Who do you think I'm talking about Butters, Joyce Dewitt?!"
Jared Vogle, the guy who lost a bunch of weight eating Subway sandwiches. He's basically portrayed as the poster child for AIDS in this episode.
The joke of "Aides" being misunderstood as "AIDS" is used so repeatedly that Matt and Trey actually put in a scene where Jared is beating a dead horse.
When Butters starts puking from eating too much, Cartman tells him to eat his own vomit because "Japanese girls do it." Butters, apparently satisfied with this answer, eats his own spew.
Old Horse Banging Skank
This episode features Cartman's infamous impersonation of Butters. He sounds so much like him it even fools Butters' parents, which winds up being really unfortunate for the real Butters.
We also get a glimpse into Butters' parents' work lives. We learn that Butters' mom works at a Telemarketing Office and his dad works at an Insurance Company.
- e1 Freak Strike
- e2 Jared Has Aides
- e3 Asspen
- e4 The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer
- e5 Fun with Veal
- e6 Professor Chaos
- e7 The Simpsons Already Did It
- e8 Red Hot Catholic Love
- e9 Free Hat
- e10 Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society
- e11 Child Abduction is Not Funny
- e12 A Ladder to Heaven
- e13 The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers
- e14 The Death Camp of Tolerance
- e15 The Biggest Douche in the Universe
- e16 My Future Self 'n' Me
- e17 Red Sleigh Down