Mitchell "Mitch" Conner flew honorably alongside fellow puppet Mr. Hat in the Vietnam War before being injured. After Jimbo Kern and Ned Gerblansky defeated the Viet Cong, he woke up in the hospital and was honorably discharged from the military. Since then he's laid low and become a run of the mill con man until a young, supple eight-year-old boy from Colorado changed everything. After posing for weeks as Hennifer Lopez he faked his death and disappeared again... only to reappear later, re-assuming Lopez' identity to get in on a valuable class-action lawsuit, and possibly on Muhammed's valuable goo.
- "Just your run of the mill con man. I've been moving from town to town, scamming people since I was fifteen. But I'm tired of running." (Fat Butt and Pancake Head)
- "I wonder... Will I dream?" (Fat Butt and Pancake Head)
- "You just take me where I tell you, and when you learn the truth, you will learn to trust me. And nobody else..." (200)
- "So how do I end up here, with a nine year old kid who just wants to know who his father is? Life is funny like that." (201)
- "There's a bounty on my head and I can't afford to stay in one place for too long. So long... Denver Bronco." (201)
- During Conner and Cartman's discussion in Tom Cruise's room, Mitch Conner blinks, hinting at sentience (just like his old buddy Mr. Hat).
- Usually, Cartman's mouth is only slightly open when he speaks as Conner (or when Conner speaks through him, it's hard to tell). However, at one point in 200 Cartman's mouth is completely closed, and at another point in 201 Cartman's mouth moves fully (after Kyle provokes him).