A famous evolutionary scientist and atheism advocate, Richard Dawkins is hired by Principal Victoria to teach evolution to the fourth grade class after Mrs. Garrison's botched attempt. He's very attracted to her, and they have a date that changes history - ultimately leading to a world full of atheists of all different sorts trapped in constant war. When Eric Cartman from the future makes a call to the past and accidentally exposes Garrison's sex-change operation, Dawkins flees in disgust, and the future - and present - are restored to normal.
- "I've never met a woman with so much... fire." (Go God Go)
- "Well what if I told you there was a flying spaghetti monster: Would you believe it simply because it can't be disproven?" (Go God Go)
- He did not join the other celebrities suing the town in "200".