Frustrated over the hassles of airline travel, Mr. Garrison develops a revolutionary new form of transportation called the "IT". The device travels 200 mph and gets 300 miles per gallon. The only drawback is the controls -- one stick for each hand, another for the mouth and a fourth inserted in the anus. However there's a general consensus that it's still more pleasant than dealing with the airlines. Millions are sold.
Meanwhile, Kyle's cousin (also named Kyle) comes for an extended visit. He's a whining pain in the butt, breathes heavy, wears gigantic glasses, and suffers from every food allergy and respiratory ailment known to humanity. Even worse, Kyle's mom insists on referring to the visitor as Kyle, and to her own son as "Kyle 2". The boys try various ways to run him out of town, including putting him in a box and stuffing it onto a plane bound for Antarctica. But he keeps coming back.
Mr. Garrison's IT is a huge success -- until the government, concerned that the device will bankrupt the airlines, outlaws its manufacture, sale, and use. Ironically this causes Kyle's cousinto pack up and leave town. He invested in the IT project and received a $5 million bailout check, which he plans to use to help his family. Before he departs he tells Kyle 2 that he and his friends are a bunch of redneck douche bags.
What I Learned Today
"Sometimes people have trouble fitting in at, at school and and um let's see, what did I learn about? What did I learn about today?"
- "Boy, that Enrique Iglesias can sure gyrate his hot ass around." (Mr. Hat)
- "Gentlemen, imagine being able to travel safely at incredibly fast speeds, and not having to go to the stupid fartface airports!" (Mr. Garrison)
- "Good job, Jew!" (Cartman)
- "I can't go tomorrow! The Jiz Fest is TONIGHT!" (Mr. Garrison)
- "Oh Jesus, why don't you just cut off my balls?" (Cartman)
- "Kyle, this is Cartman. He's my sort of friend-ish." (Kyle)
- "I mean, I'm a Jew and he's making me hate Jews!" (Kyle)
- "So then couldn't I just order one that works WITHOUT going in and out of my ass and mouth?" (Stan's dad)
- "You people are all just such hick, jock rednecks It's like you're right out of a stereotype catalogue." (Kyle's Cousin Kyle)
Kyle's cousin, Kyle A hypoallergenic, annoying relative from Connecticut. He will make another appearance in "The Losing Edge".
Kenny, gunned down at the airport when security guards find him carrying a pair of nail clippers.
Behind The Scenes
Where Did The Idea Come From
The episode lampoons both post 9/11 airport security measures and the hype surrounding the Segway, which was supposed to "revolutionize travel.". Matt and Trey purchased one for the South Park offices, then broke it while taking it off some jumps.
Pop Culture References
In the commercial for the IT, there's a shot of two old ladies at the Grand Canyon. When asked how they got there, they yell "Hoveround!!" This is a parody of the popular Hoveround commercials for power wheelchairs.
Enrique Iglesias, whose ass-gyrating TV performance inspires Mr. Garrison to use gyroscopes on his new personal conveyance. Also John Travolta, who does a graphic commercial plugging the IT.
The top minds and investors in America gather for Garriosn's presentation of the IT: Steve Forbes, Steve Jobs, Ted Turner, Donald Trump, Bill Gates, and Jasmine Bleeth, who's dirty, sniffling, and has a rubber tube tied around her arm.
Mr. Garrison says he possesses a master's degree in mechanical engineering from Denver Community College.
Running list of Kyle's Cousin Kyle ailments: Asthma, degenerative problem with his intestinal lining, polyps on the back of his hands, a fear of splinters, poor eyesight, and extreme sensitivity to dry air and cold temperatures. For this reason, Kyle offers Cartman $40 to not rip on his cousin, but Cartman doesn't even make it through one period of school without breaking.
- e1 Scott Tenorman Must Die
- e2 It Hits the Fan
- e3 Cripple Fight
- e4 Super Best Friends
- e5 Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow
- e6 Cartmanland
- e7 Proper Condom Use
- e8 Towelie_(episode)
- e9 Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants
- e10 How To Eat With Your Butt
- e11 The Entity
- e12 Here Comes the Neighborhood
- e13 Kenny Dies
- e14 Butters' Very Own Episode