The citizens of South Park are gearing up for the arrival of Hillary Clinton for a big campaign rally. Cartman suspects the new Muslim student is plotting a terrorist attack. Every minute counts for Cartman as he uses his own unique interrogation methods on his suspect. He soon discovers the plan to target Mrs. Clinton is just the tip of the iceberg.
The episode begins when a new student enrolls in Ms. Garrison's class. He is named Bahir Hassan Abdul Hakeem, a child of Muslim parents whose mere presence makes Cartman paranoid to the point that he leaves class, asking Ms. Garrison whether Bahir has been searched for bombs. Angered by this, Ms. Garrison tells Cartman to stop being so intolerant, stating that not all Muslims resort to terrorism, but Cartman states that while not all Muslims are terrorists, most of them are. Suspecting that the Muslim kid and his parents are involved in a terrorist attack, Cartman calls Kyle (who is at home sick), on his cell phone during recess, and Cartman asks him to do a web search for Bahir's background. Cartman also asks Kyle to see if there are important events that day, and figures that Bahir may target Hillary Clinton, who is in town for a political rally. Cartman takes this as a terrorist threat, then proceeds to call the CIA, stubbornly claiming that he will only speak directly to the President.
A short while later, the school is evacuated via a fire alarm and announcement from Principal Victoria. Bahir goes with Butters to hang out, and Butters starts to accept Bahir as a friend. As that is happening, the CIA calls Clinton's convoy to warn them of a possible threat. They decide to continue the rally, and as she is doing so, her security finds that there is a nuclear device in Hillary Clinton's vagina. This was referred to as a "Snuke" (a suitcase nuke designed to fit in a woman's "snizz") in Clinton's "snatch". To try to locate the detonator, Cartman tortures Bahir's parents by farting in their faces. Cartman gets no response and once he hears that Bahir is at Butters' house, Cartman runs off.
While Cartman attempts to accost Bahir while running away from Butters' house, a group of Russian neo-soviets abduct both Cartman and Bahir, the former for alerting the CIA to the attempted terrorist attack. While they threaten their prisoners, their conversation reveals that the Russians who placed the snuke are merely pawns in service of America's oldest rival - the British. The Russians are a distraction while an 18th-century style fleet of British wooden sailing vessels make a surprise attack to "put an end to the American Revolution". After Kyle, Stan, Homeland Security, the FBI, ATF, the President's personal staff, and finally a single NSA representative take over Kyle's bedroom (and end up relieving each other of duty in the space of a few minutes), they all work towards finishing what Kyle and Stan had started: uncovering the terrorists' intentions, finishing just as Cartman finds out about the plan himself. They raid the mercenaries, but the Russians then warn the federal agents that the detonator is set to go off when the clock reaches 1:00. However, the power is cut and the clock is reset, blinking 12:00 repeatedly once the power comes back on. The various American soldiers open fire on the Russian terrorists and free Eric and Bahir. Meanwhile, the United States Air Force attacks and effortlessly destroys the British fleet. Upon hearing the news of the attack's failure from the fleet's leader, the Queen commits suicide.
Back in South Park, Kyle tells everybody that the moral of the experience was that one should not be suspicious of just one race of people, "because actually, most of the world hates America." Even though Cartman is now convinced that Bahir is innocent, he refuses to apologize for falsely implicating him, pointing out that if he had not suspected Bahir due to his religion he would have never called Kyle, and the actual terrorism plot would not have been solved. Therefore, he concludes, "racism and bigotry saved America," so no apology needs to be made at all. Bahir's parents then show up and announce that they are leaving the country due to Cartman's torture. Cartman proudly responds: "Well, who got rid of the Muslims?"
Behind The Scenes
Pop Culture References
- e1 With Apologies to Jesse Jackson
- e2 Cartman Sucks
- e3 Lice Capades
- e4 The Snuke
- e5 Fantastic Easter Special
- e6 D-Yikes!
- e7 Night of the Living Homeless
- e8 Le Petit Tourette
- e9 More Crap
- e10 Imaginationland
- e11 Imaginationland, Episode II
- e12 Imaginationland, Episode III
- e13 Guitar Queer-O
- e14 The List