After serving a long detention for goofing off in art class, the boys exact revenge by toilet-papering their art teacher's house. However, Kyle is paralyzed with guilt for his part in the TP incident. Concerned that he will rat them out to the authorities, Cartman decides to bludgeon Kyle to death with a baseball bat. Unfortunately, he can only afford a wiffle ball bat, which proves ineffective.
Meanwhile, Officer Barbrady attempts to track down the perpetrators by consulting with a serial toilet-paperer named Josh Myers, who's incarcerated at Park County Juvenile Hall for TP-ing more than 600 houses in a year. He and Officer Barbrady strike up a Hannibal Lecter/Clarice Starling-like relationship. Eventually Barbrady arrests a suspect -- Butters. Butters had nothing to do with the crime, but is convinced he's guilty anyway.
When the boys hear about this wrongful arrest, Stan and Kenny suddenly feel as bad as Kyle. They agree (to Cartman's horror) that they should confess to their art teacher the next day. Meanwhile, Butters' parents prove his innocence by providing a rock-solid alibi for the night of the incident. However, they vow to punish him severely for "fibbing" to the police.
In a brilliant example of damage control, Cartman confesses first and turns in the other three boys in the process. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny get two weeks of detention, while Cartman gets only one for "being brave." Shortly thereafter, Josh Myers escapes. He calls Barbrady just before he launches a TP attack on the greatest target of all -- the White House.
What I Learned Today
Nothing. Cartman tries to give an emotional rendition of what he's learned, but Kyle cuts him off: "Oh stop it Cartman! You didn't learn anything! Not a god damn thing!"
- "There's toilet paper on your hands too, Kyle." (Cartman)
- "Tell me, the toilet paper. Was it quilted?" (Josh Myers)
- "Remember to feel the clay. Be one with the clay." (Mrs. Streibel)
- "Let Cartman do all the talking, okay? He's better at being in trouble than anybody." (Stan)
- "Just remember, he'd toilet paper you in a second if he had the chance." (Juvenile Hall Director)
- "Your toilet paperers are most likely males between the ages of eight and ten, and probably virgins." (Josh Myers)
- "We have no choice. We have to kill Kyle." (Cartman)
- "I'm killing you. But unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat, so it's going to take a while." (Cartman)
- "Ta dao! Ta dao! How do you like me now?!" (Cartman)
- "Officer, can I stay in jail please?" (Butters)
Mrs. Streibel, the art teacher, and her family. Also Mr. Bell, the Grocery Store Cashier who makes a positive ID on the decomposing toilet paper. Josh Myers, the Hannibal Lecter-like serial TP-er, also makes his single episode cameo before escaping to freedom.
Behind The Scenes
Where Did The Idea Come From
This was one of those last-minute concepts that emerged shortly before the show was supposed to air. There weren't any deep political or cultural messages -- just the boys being boys.
Pop Culture References
Kyle hesitates before TP-ing the art teacher's house because there are kids inside, saying: "We didn't say nothin' about no kids, man!" It's a parody of a scene from Scarface. Also, the story Cartman invents to give the boys an alibi on the night of the TP-ing concerns them spotting Ally Sheedy, "the Goth chick from the Breakfast Club" in a bowling alley. The infamous scene in which Cartman tries to kill Kyle on a boat in Stark's Pond is a nod to a similar incident in the film The Godfather II.
One of Kyle's guilt-fueled dreams includes live-action footage of ice skater Nancy Kerrigan crying after she was kneecapped in 1994. This is one of Matt's all-time favorite scenes.
While locked up in jail, Butters worries about how is girlfriend Carrie will react, saying: "when she finds out about this, woo-smokies is she gonna be sore!" Although we never see her, she apparently lives in Michigan. Also, Butters' parents mention that he's in jail "again."
Through some skillful mindgames, we learn that Officer Barbrady had a pretty twisted childhood: his Uncle Charles used to hit him with a belt, and his Dad dressed him up like a girl on poker nights and made him sit on all his Uncle's laps.