Cartman's grandmother, Mabel Cartman passes away and leaves Cartman one million dollars in inheritance. Rather than invest the money or donate it to good will, Cartman instead uses the money to purchase North Park Funland, an amusement park owned by Frank Fun. Signing off the deeds, Frank however clears his conscience with Cartman, revealing that Funland has been a financial failure. Cartman reassures him that he only intends to open the park for himself, expressing his disdain for park lines. Frank agrees to sell, and the park is renamed Cartmanland.
Meanwhile, Kyle upon learning of Cartman's success starts to question his faith in God, and how someone as horrid as Cartman could be so fortunate and happy. To make matters worse, Kyle develops a hemorrhoid due to the stress of knowing Cartman's glee. He and Stan attempt to sneak into Cartmanland, defying Cartman's expulsion of any guests; especially them. Kyle's hemorrhoid pops whilst climbing over the fence into the park and are then found by Cartman who angrily sends them away. The hemorrhoid becomes infected, worsening Kyle's state and being the final straw to fully lose faith in God. Desperate to rekindle hope in Kyle, his parents attempt to cheer him up by telling the story of Job, but they truncate the story with Job getting boils and never mentioning the end where Job regains his good fortune for believing in God despite everything going wrong in his life. The plan backfires however, as Kyle is horrified that God would allow such a devout believer in him to suffer so greatly just to win a bet with Satan.
Cartman hires a single security guard to stop further trespassing into his park. But with his inheritance dried up, the guard refuses to work unless he is afforded a viable salary; pointing out that if Cartman lets in two people to the park per day, he could easily pay for his employment. Eventually, one of the rides malfunctions thus forcing Cartman to let more guests in to pay for maintenance. Inevitably, expenses for maintenance, refreshments, utilities and security mount up causing more and more guests to be admitted into the park, which turns out to revive the park as a success at Cartman's disdain for queues. Business experts mistake Cartman's "you can't come" technique as a marketing ploy - which proves to be fatal for Kyle, who flat lines. With Cartmanland a thriving success and with record park guests, Cartman becomes infuriated and demands his money back from Mr. Fun. With the park back in Frank's ownership, the IRS collects $500,000 in penalty fees from Cartman as he did not keep tax records of the park. The last $500,000 is taken in a lawsuit by Kenny's parents after Kenny died on one of the rollercoasters. Now $13,000 in debt and completely broken, Cartman pleads to get the park back from Mr. Fun who ultimately refuses.
Upon hearing about the events, Stan hurries to the hospital as Kyle is now on the verge of dying. He pleads with the doctor to take Kyle out of the hospital to show him what is happening to Cartman. They arrive at the park to find Cartman throwing rocks at the walls in anger over having lost his fortune before being maced by the security guard he originally hired. Seeing Cartman's misery causes Kyle's hemorrhoid to miraculously shrink away and he makes a full recovery as he watches Cartman cry after having been pepper sprayed by his former security guard, and his faith in God is now restored.
What I Learned Today
"You are up there!"
- "Oh, God, do you have to embarrass me even in death, Grandma?" Cartman
- "To my grandson, Eric, you were always my favorite fat little man. My perfect round little pudding piler." Mabel Cartman’s Will
- "Eric is the primary benefactor of my estate, since it is likely the rest of you would spend the money on crack." Mabel Cartman’s Will
- "I have a hemorrhoid, and Cartman has his own theme park." Kyle
- "We'll be back as soon as Kyle's hemorrhoid is better!" Stan
- "Why couldn't the funeral have been on a school day?" Cartman
- "You made Kyle loose his faith in God you fat asshole!" Stan
- "Amazing. Eric Cartman is surely the financial genius of our time." Money Man
- "Kenny?! He dies all the time!" Cartman
Kenny, impaled through the head by a pipe while on the Mine Shaft Ride at Cartmanland.
Behind The Scenes
Where Did The Idea Come From
Matt and Trey almost didn't do this concept because the idea of Cartman buying an amusement park seemed lame. But the idea of Cartman buying a park and refusing to let anyone in proved golden.
Pop Culture References
Cartman's prolonged rant about theme park lines is taken from How the Grinch Stole Christmas, when the Grinch goes into an equally impassioned tirade about noise.
The story of Job from the Bible is reenacted in South Park fashion here. It's actually a pretty depressing story.
Stan and Kyle use a firecracker to blow up a doll in a car -- a doll they pretend is Jennifer Lopez. They make the doll plead for its life by saying ,"I promise I'll never make another album or movie!" Also filmmaker Michael Bay. At the height of his existential funk, Kyle cries out, "Job has all his children killed, and Michael Bay gets to keep making movies. There isn't a God."
Kyle's questioning of God's existence seems a bit hypocritical, given that he actually met the Supreme Being in "Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus". Also, the security guard Cartman hires is the mall cop from "Fingerbang".
We meet all of Cartman's relatives, shown briefly here at his Grandma's funeral, in "Merry Christmas Charlie Manson".
Stan tries to sneak into Cartmanland under the alias Mike Gayner.
Cartman's "You Can't Come Technique" is hailed as a marketing breakthrough, and immediately implemented by stores and businesses across the country.
- e1 Scott Tenorman Must Die
- e2 It Hits the Fan
- e3 Cripple Fight
- e4 Super Best Friends
- e5 Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow
- e6 Cartmanland
- e7 Proper Condom Use
- e8 Towelie (episode)
- e9 Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants
- e10 How To Eat With Your Butt
- e11 The Entity
- e12 Here Comes the Neighborhood
- e13 Kenny Dies
- e14 Butters' Very Own Episode